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Test your knowledge of Santa. Answers in inviso-writing!
1. Why does Santa live at the North Pole? Santa is allergic to penguins.
2. How did Santa meet Mrs. Santa? On a snow-blind date.
3. Why does Santa always wear the same red suit? He buys in bulk and gets a discount.
4. Why does Santa wear solid red? Because stripes make him look fat.
5. Why does Santa wear red? He's a socialist and believes all kids are equal.
6. Why does Santa give rich kids more toys? Some kids are more equal than others.
7. Why does Santa say, "Ho, ho, ho!"? Parents objected when he said, "Bwa, ha, ha!"
8 Why doesn't Santa say "Hee, hee hee!" People would think he was insane.
9 What does Santa feed his reindeer? Hay, hay, hay. (You did see that coming didn't you?)
10. Why does Santa park his sleigh on the roof? No one wants reindeer droppings in the yard.
11. Why does Santa stop at every house? Bathroom breaks from all the milk and cookies
12. How many elves does Santa have? Thousands mostly bookkeepers, accountants and lawyers.
13. How many elves does Santa have making toys? None. Since they unionized, Santa had that out-sourced to China.
14. Why is Santa's nose red? You'd have a cold, too, if you hung around that many little kids in December!
15. How do you know if it's the real Santa at your mall? If none of the helper elves with him are over two feet tall, it's him!
16. When does Santa take his summer vacation? In summer. Duh.
17. What does Santa do Christmas Day? He takes a bath and washes all the chimney soot out of his red suit!
18. What do Santa and Mrs. Santa do New Year's Day? He watches football and cheers for all the teams in red. She nags at him to get a real job.
19. Why doesn't Santa mind screaming children sitting in his lap. Santa really likes children.
20. Why doesn't Santa bring exactly what every kid asks for. Santa is also fond of parents.
1. Why does Santa live at the North Pole? Santa is allergic to penguins.
2. How did Santa meet Mrs. Santa? On a snow-blind date.
3. Why does Santa always wear the same red suit? He buys in bulk and gets a discount.
4. Why does Santa wear solid red? Because stripes make him look fat.
5. Why does Santa wear red? He's a socialist and believes all kids are equal.
6. Why does Santa give rich kids more toys? Some kids are more equal than others.
7. Why does Santa say, "Ho, ho, ho!"? Parents objected when he said, "Bwa, ha, ha!"
8 Why doesn't Santa say "Hee, hee hee!" People would think he was insane.
9 What does Santa feed his reindeer? Hay, hay, hay. (You did see that coming didn't you?)
10. Why does Santa park his sleigh on the roof? No one wants reindeer droppings in the yard.
11. Why does Santa stop at every house? Bathroom breaks from all the milk and cookies
12. How many elves does Santa have? Thousands mostly bookkeepers, accountants and lawyers.
13. How many elves does Santa have making toys? None. Since they unionized, Santa had that out-sourced to China.
14. Why is Santa's nose red? You'd have a cold, too, if you hung around that many little kids in December!
15. How do you know if it's the real Santa at your mall? If none of the helper elves with him are over two feet tall, it's him!
16. When does Santa take his summer vacation? In summer. Duh.
17. What does Santa do Christmas Day? He takes a bath and washes all the chimney soot out of his red suit!
18. What do Santa and Mrs. Santa do New Year's Day? He watches football and cheers for all the teams in red. She nags at him to get a real job.
19. Why doesn't Santa mind screaming children sitting in his lap. Santa really likes children.
20. Why doesn't Santa bring exactly what every kid asks for. Santa is also fond of parents.