Angel and Connor discuss the facts of life.

[cactuswatcher]

C - Isn't it true, Buffy got to be on seven years and we only got to be on five?

A - Yeah, but season one, Buffy hardly counts. Only half a season. No season arc. Weak stories, nothing but silly vampires....

C - Yeah, Dad. But, you were in season one!

A - Okay one cool vampire, and a bunch of silly ones.

C - Isn't it true that, Dawn was a tossed-in-in-the-middle-of-the-story, new, teenage-relative character before me.

A - Yeah, but your baby pictures are real!

C - Isn't it true they changed everybody's memory for Dawn before they did it for me?

A - Sure, but look how much better it worked out for you. You got to go to Stanford. She got stuck at Son of Sunnydale High. It wasn't till our show that she got to go to Italy! See our show has class.

C - How come I didn't get to go to Italy? How come Dawn was a regular for three years and I only got one?

A - Enough about Dawn!

C- But, Dad. We never get anything original on this show. Half the cast are left overs from Buffy. Illyria looks like Black Willow. Tough, streetwise Gunn is turning into wimpy, whiney Wood a little more every episode...

A - But, you're better than Dawn! You're my real son. None of that made up crap in the middle of the year about the same blood either. Your my real son! .... Let's change the subject. Don't you want to talk about the birds and the bees or something.?

C - (Chuckles) About the birds and the bees? You do remember Cordelia don't you? ... Tell me the truth, didn't Xander kiss her before you did?

A- Yeah, that guy just bugs me! ... But, you couldn't have learned much from her!

C - What are you talking about, you saw us, didn't you? You saw how hot we were.

A - True, but Cordy really doesn't count. We both screamed out "Buffy" toward the end, didn't we?

C - Dad, I swear I never did it with Buffy! I never met Buffy.

A - (Pensively) I don't think you did, but with all these memory wipes who knows? Never mind, you've been a good son. Killing demons, hating your dad, like a good ME child, threatening to destroy the world... What more can a man ask for in a son?

C - Gee, I never knew you were so proud of me! ... Say Dad can you tell me what's going to happen in the last episode. It's going to be something original isn't it? Nothing rehashed from Buffy is it?

A - Oh, it's going to be so cool! I found this great magic axe at Buffy's place, and figured she won't mind if I borrow it. We'll have this big deal just as we're about to be defeated. We'll do this spell with the axe, and it'll change us all..."

C - ...Into girls? That's that stupid "Scythe" thing, Dad!

A - But, it not a scythe. It's an axe. I swear, it's an axe. It can't be that "Scythe" thing, can it?

C - Those girls on Buffy don't know anything about terminology, Dad. They said Olaf's hammer was the weapon of a god. Some god! Think of something else!

A - How about if I kill the whole Black Circle, then go berserk. I'm about to destroy the whole world in my killing lust, when suddenly you appear and...

C - Dad, if this has anything to do with yellow crayons, count me out!

Fade to commercial

Comments

OMG, that's hilarious!

[an-old-one.livejournal.com]

And deadly right-on, as well.

Thanks for my laugh of the week.

;o)