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Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and poetry lovers everywhere...
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the city
Not a creature was stirring not even my kitty.
He was curled in a ball in his own favorite chair;
But like magical lanterns hung up in mid air,
His eyes scanned the room for anything strange
Like a bug on the rug or a mouse on the range,
While his body including his ears and his tail
Was unseen in the dark like a drop in a gale.
His eyelids drooped downward, as bored eyelids do,
For the kitty saw nothing at all strange or new.
Just his dish piled with food and his bowl full of water
Not a treat left, no toys out, no milk in a saucer
The place was so quiet, "the old guy" just snoring
What cat would not think it was terribly boring?
And he dreamed of a life full of mousies and fish
He could chase round the room, just as much as he'd wish.
Of trees bright and sparkly to jump and knock down
Of presents to wreck till "the old guy" would frown.
Up on the roof there arose such a clatter
The cat sprang up to see what was the matter.
With a whoosh down the chimney there came a fat stranger.
The kitty took off at the first sign of danger.
But the jolly fat fellow made a sign to make clear
My dear little kitty had nothing to fear.
From under the sofa my kitty peered out
As the red-suited fellow did exclaim in a shout
"Ho, ho, ho, Happy Christmas and good things like that!
I've seen that all year you have been a nice cat!"
So he scattered the room with presents galore
From the top of the ceiling down to the floor.
He stréwed birds and mousies all over the place.
Three Christmas trees laden with bright balls and lace,
He set in the center with toys whizzing around.
What a joy for a cat, all the lights and new sound!
The kitty crept out and he savoured the view
"Let's give "the old guy" a present or two!"
Said Santa to kitty while stroking his chin.
So he tossed in two hamsters, both smelling like sin.
Having finished his work, he zipped out through the flue
Leaving kitty wide eyed at the presents and zoo.
Having waited a moment for sneaky cat pride
My kitty jumped in with his claws open wide.
First probing then batting, my kitty, with glee,
Tore through the presents then went up a tree.
It tumbled, lights flashing, balls bashing the floor
The kitty first bolted then snuck back for more.
He chased all the mousies both hither and yon.
He swatted and harried the birds in the john.
But something went wrong when the hamsters he spied.
The house seemed to spin like a top on its side.
Three Christmas trees turned into one giant broom
And chased my poor kitty right out of the room.
The mice ate his cat food right down to the crumbs
Birds swam in his water like they were his chums.
The hamsters both bellowed, "Now come out and play!"
No clawing and scratching could drive them away.
So kitty, poor kitty, he ran to my bed.
And found there old Santa ho-hoing instead!
Everything awful was prodding his fears!
Gold boxes were trying to sit on his ears!
Shiny bright paper grew out from the floor!
When suddenly kitty cat heard a great snore!...
The room went to normal, the mice disappeared
The birds were outside and not the least weird.
The hamsters were gone and so was their stink.
No Santa's ho-hoing, no more his odd wink.
The kitty was happy his nightmare had lied...
"The old guy" awoke with him nestled beside.
So as kitty expressed on that day with a mew.
"Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year to you!"
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the city
Not a creature was stirring not even my kitty.
He was curled in a ball in his own favorite chair;
But like magical lanterns hung up in mid air,
His eyes scanned the room for anything strange
Like a bug on the rug or a mouse on the range,
While his body including his ears and his tail
Was unseen in the dark like a drop in a gale.
His eyelids drooped downward, as bored eyelids do,
For the kitty saw nothing at all strange or new.
Just his dish piled with food and his bowl full of water
Not a treat left, no toys out, no milk in a saucer
The place was so quiet, "the old guy" just snoring
What cat would not think it was terribly boring?
And he dreamed of a life full of mousies and fish
He could chase round the room, just as much as he'd wish.
Of trees bright and sparkly to jump and knock down
Of presents to wreck till "the old guy" would frown.
Up on the roof there arose such a clatter
The cat sprang up to see what was the matter.
With a whoosh down the chimney there came a fat stranger.
The kitty took off at the first sign of danger.
But the jolly fat fellow made a sign to make clear
My dear little kitty had nothing to fear.
From under the sofa my kitty peered out
As the red-suited fellow did exclaim in a shout
"Ho, ho, ho, Happy Christmas and good things like that!
I've seen that all year you have been a nice cat!"
So he scattered the room with presents galore
From the top of the ceiling down to the floor.
He stréwed birds and mousies all over the place.
Three Christmas trees laden with bright balls and lace,
He set in the center with toys whizzing around.
What a joy for a cat, all the lights and new sound!
The kitty crept out and he savoured the view
"Let's give "the old guy" a present or two!"
Said Santa to kitty while stroking his chin.
So he tossed in two hamsters, both smelling like sin.
Having finished his work, he zipped out through the flue
Leaving kitty wide eyed at the presents and zoo.
Having waited a moment for sneaky cat pride
My kitty jumped in with his claws open wide.
First probing then batting, my kitty, with glee,
Tore through the presents then went up a tree.
It tumbled, lights flashing, balls bashing the floor
The kitty first bolted then snuck back for more.
He chased all the mousies both hither and yon.
He swatted and harried the birds in the john.
But something went wrong when the hamsters he spied.
The house seemed to spin like a top on its side.
Three Christmas trees turned into one giant broom
And chased my poor kitty right out of the room.
The mice ate his cat food right down to the crumbs
Birds swam in his water like they were his chums.
The hamsters both bellowed, "Now come out and play!"
No clawing and scratching could drive them away.
So kitty, poor kitty, he ran to my bed.
And found there old Santa ho-hoing instead!
Everything awful was prodding his fears!
Gold boxes were trying to sit on his ears!
Shiny bright paper grew out from the floor!
When suddenly kitty cat heard a great snore!...
The room went to normal, the mice disappeared
The birds were outside and not the least weird.
The hamsters were gone and so was their stink.
No Santa's ho-hoing, no more his odd wink.
The kitty was happy his nightmare had lied...
"The old guy" awoke with him nestled beside.
So as kitty expressed on that day with a mew.
"Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year to you!"
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